THE EARTHLY EXPRESSION JOURNAL
Ideas about relationships, boundaries, emotional patterns, and everyday change.
87 articles
EARTHLY REFLECTIONS
You know the call needs to be made. The message needs an answer. The bill needs attention. You have thought about doing it all morning, perhaps all week. Yet each time you reach for your phone, your mind fills with quest...
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How Recovery Really Happens
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Part 2: The Slow Progression Most People Never Recognize
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There is a reason people often describe limerence using words like magic, destiny, soulmate, or once-in-a-lifetime connection. The emotional intensity can be so profound that it feels unlike anything they have ever exper...
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When people hear the term postpartum depression, they almost automatically think about mothers. We picture a woman who is exhausted, tearful, overwhelmed, or struggling to adjust after the birth of a child. We hear conve...
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Understanding the Emotional and Psychological Systems Beneath the Behavior
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When Helping Starts to Shift
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Infidelity is one of the most painful experiences a person can face in a relationship. When someone discovers that their partner has been unfaithful, the emotional reaction can feel overwhelming. Many people describe fee...
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Many people develop relationship patterns early in life as a way to stay emotionally safe. These patterns are not personality flaws. They are adaptations that helped someone cope with stress, uncertainty, or inconsistent...
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In adult relationships, consistency is one of the most reliable indicators of emotional safety. It is not the intensity of someone’s words that creates stability. It is the predictability of their behavior over time. Whe...
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Most couples do not fall apart because of one explosive event. They unravel because something foundational was either never built or slowly disappeared.
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Adult child guilt is one of the most misunderstood and quietly powerful forces shaping adult lives. It shows up in therapy rooms as anxiety, indecision, people-pleasing, chronic self-doubt, difficulty setting boundaries,...
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When Love Is Used to Take
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There is a particular kind of relational pain that does not come from overt conflict, cruelty, or even direct rejection. It comes from contradiction. From being told, implicitly or explicitly, that you are failing someon...
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Hyper-independence is often praised in our culture. People who handle everything alone are called strong, capable, and resilient. They are seen as reliable and high functioning. They rarely ask for help and often appear ...
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There is a pattern that emerges quietly in the lives of many men—often after years or even decades of committed relationships, parenthood, work, and fulfilling the roles they were taught to carry. It’s something they’re ...
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Marriage is one of the most significant decisions a person can make. It affects every domain of life — emotional, psychological, financial, familial, social, physical, spiritual, and practical. It changes how we move thr...
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Healthy relationships allow both people to grow, make decisions, and keep parts of their own identity. Independence is a normal and important part of being an adult. But sometimes, one partner becomes scared when the oth...
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The Shattering Moment
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In the digital age, nearly every person wears multiple identities. We have the us that shows up at work, the us that appears at family gatherings, the us that posts carefully selected glimpses on social media, and the us...
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When the World Feels Heavy
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Few relationship choices bring as much curiosity, hope, and complexity as the decision to open a relationship to a third partner. Whether labeled open, polyamorous, or consensually non-monogamous, this decision represent...
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Relationships are a natural and meaningful part of human life. Most people desire companionship, intimacy, and connection—it is part of being human. But sometimes the longing for a relationship can become more than a hea...
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Confabulation is a fascinating yet complex phenomenon. At its core, confabulation occurs when someone unintentionally fabricates or distorts memories. These aren’t deliberate lies or attempts to deceive; instead, they ar...
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Human beings have always wrestled with time. Some of us thrive on the here and now, soaking in each moment as if tomorrow doesn’t exist. Others are wired to plan, strategize, and think five steps ahead. Both ways of appr...
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As parents, watching our children grow into adulthood brings a mixture of pride, nostalgia, and new challenges. The dynamic shifts from being a caregiver to becoming a guide—or at least, that’s the hope. But when your ad...
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Marriage is often described as the joining of two people, but in reality, it’s also the blending of two histories, sets of relationships, and emotional ecosystems. For many, one of the most difficult and unexpected chall...
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In today’s interconnected world, friendships between individuals of the opposite sex are increasingly common and can be incredibly meaningful. Whether rooted in shared values, interests, or history, these relationships c...
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Every relationship experiences highs and lows. But sometimes, the real challenge isn’t a single conflict—it’s a recurring pattern where one person seems emotionally invested but chronically unable to meet your needs. Or ...
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Relationships should feel emotionally safe, mutually respectful, and supportive of your growth. But sometimes, the person you once trusted begins showing behavior that feels manipulative, volatile, or even dangerous. Whe...
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Adapted from Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends (2nd edition) by Bruce Fisher, PhD
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Co-Parenting Through Control: How to Cope When the Legal System Becomes a Weapon
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Trauma bonding is a complex psychological response that occurs in abusive relationships, particularly those involving domestic violence and sexual abuse. It is rooted in a survival mechanism that confuses love and attach...
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In today’s increasingly uncertain world, it’s natural for parents to want to protect, guide, and support their children. But when protection turns into constant monitoring, problem-solving, and rescuing, we move into the...
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A few weeks ago, while checking my Facebook feed, I was shocked to see a post from a well-known human services advocate that was nothing more than a blatant boast. It went something like this: “I have X thousand awards....
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People who have been diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) are sometimes called sociopaths. They engage in behaviors that typically harm others for the benefit of themselves.
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Many times when I propose that couples do a weekly couples meeting, I get the exasperated sigh, the statements of, "This is pointless", and a roll of an eye - but then I get buy-in. Most couples figure out after they get...
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When you take a moment to explore where your sensitivity to criticism is coming from, it can help you to handle criticism with increased self-worth and confidence. It takes time to learn new coping mechanisms. However, s...
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We all tell lies occasionally. The average person tells two lies a day. However, some people tell several lies a day as a way of coping with various social conditions. Compulsive liars are people who have very little con...
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You don't randomly wake up one day on the wrong side of the bed and flippantly decide to cut your mother or father out of your life. Rather, it's a difficult decision made after years of trying everything to preserve the...
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"I cheated on my boyfriend" (or girlfriend) is probably a phrase you never expected to say in the first place. Or maybe it's something you suspected might happen for a while now. Whatever your situations is, moving on af...
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Imagine this: You’ve just finished cleaning the kitchen, but instead of a thank you, your partner criticizes how the utensils are arranged. This scenario is a classic example of nitpicking in a relationship where minor f...
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We all experience pain, discomfort, disappointment, and frustrations at some point in our lives. Although it might not seem like it at the time, those challenges are an opportunity to get stronger, to develop character, ...
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Boundaries are essential for human connection and personal safety. They protect you, set the rules of engagement, and allow you to keep your individuality. Boundaries may be physical, emotional, mental, material, or time...
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In geography, a boundary is a real or imaginary line that separates different regions of the Earth. Things like rivers, mountain ranges and oceans all serve as physical boundaries, while state and country borders serve a...
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Your feelings about the holidays are very personal. They can cause us to feel happy, sad or ambivalent. The holidays can also cause stress because of:
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Is age really just a number? I have been wanting to write about age gap relationships or a May-December romance, for as long as I can remember. It was from a May-December relationship in my early 20’s that my entire life...
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Romantic relationships are not the end-all-be-all of your life and mental health, but being single for a long time can have an impact on your identity and well-being (just like any kind of relationship status). Keep read...
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What is the 'Savior Complex'?
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Have you ever felt trapped? No, actually, have you ever felt absolutely paralyzed? Like you are fearful of making any choices at all? It feels like any step you take could end in utter catastrophe.
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Good boundaries are important for healthy relationships, but when it comes to our online lives, we rarely think to create clear-cut borders. The most important reason to set boundaries online, is for your “safety and pro...
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We all like to think of ourselves in certain ways. We consider ourselves to be truthful, hard-working, health-conscious, and in control. But our actions don’t always line up with what we think of ourselves.
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Rebuilding trust after infidelity requires clear communication and a mutual commitment to addressing the underlying issues. Infidelity strikes at the core of trust and intimacy, often shaking a marriage to its very found...
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How do I know we're not a good fit before we get married? It's the million-dollar question. If we could all figure this question out with complete certainty, we would eliminate divorce, and save ourselves a lot of hearta...
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Sharing our stress, anxiety, and worries with others can help process difficult feelings. And, no doubt, the pandemic and the aftermath has brought on a lot of reasons to vent. But when does venting turn into trauma dump...
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Do you feel like your teens make too many demands without expressing much appreciation?
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How many relationships have you been in that moved too fast? You know, the ones where you felt like you had to decide on whether or not you were going to be together forever after only a few weeks? Odds are, it didn't wo...
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Have you ever wondered why criticism or the fear of rejection hits you or your child so hard? Do you find that even a hint of disapproval can trigger overwhelming emotions that seem out of proportion to the situation? If...
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Not all friendships are equal. This isn’t something you’re born knowing. It’s why we get our feelings hurt throughout our lifetimes (even in adulthood as in youth) when friends don’t live up to our expectations. But ofte...
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A shallow person typically lacks depth of character. They tend to focus on superficial things like appearances and status rather than meaningful connections. Some signs of a shallow person include:
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If you’re asking yourself, “Am I the problem in my relationship?”, you probably know that some of your relationship behaviors are problematic.
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You may be surprised at how straightforward co-parenting is with a clear set of boundaries. Believe me, co-parenting becomes easier over time. To help everyone get to a good place quicker, I’ve created a list of rules to...
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Breakups and romantic separations are difficult experiences that can be emotionally taxing for anyone. It’s natural to feel sad, angry, or even relieved after ending a relationship. However, for some people, moving on fr...
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Definition of a Psychopath
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When I got up this morning, things were not going my way. It was shaping up to be a really bad day. I stubbed my toe on the way to the bathroom, the plate shattered when it slipped out of my hand between the cupboard and...
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Enmeshment is a dysfunctional relational pattern in which personal boundaries are either blurred, unclear, or non-existent, leading to many unhealthy beliefs regarding ourselves and our relationships.
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If you are anything like me, then pride has played a beneficial role in your life. It’s saved you from embarrassing and cringeworthy situations. It’s made sure you held yourself together during trying and unhappy times. ...
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For singles, this fast-paced, modern world of seemingly endless swiping, matching, and messaging brings about an epidemic of detached, disengaged, and guarded dating.
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Weekly Mindfulness Moment: Scared to Set Boundaries?
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Gaslighting and narcissism have become part of our everyday vernacular. The debate on whether or not they are being over-used seems to be firmly split down the middle. Some believe that we are throwing a blanket stateme...
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Change is often complicated, and it doesn’t always happen the way you envision. The following reminders can help you maintain a realistic perspective about the process.
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Nothing will put a stop to a relationship faster than unrealistic expectations. Our expectations can be important, and they can point us in the direction of our standards and boundaries. When we allow them to get out of ...
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Weekly Mindfulness Moment: Oversharing vs. Authenticity
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What's the definition of a toxic family?
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In these contemporary times, you may be led to believe that you need to achieve “closure” after the death of someone in your life. As a matter of fact, you may have already experienced someone approaching you and asking,...
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Weekly Mindfulness Moment: Holding Yourself Accountable
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What is a victim mentality?
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The private conversations you have with yourself can be either a powerful steppingstone or a major obstacle to reaching your goals. If your inner monologue repeats things like, “I’m going to embarrass myself,” or “No on...
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Ever sent a mixed message to someone? Received one? Ever made an assumption? Ever had a misunderstanding? If you answered no to any of these you are living in denial. Everyone from time to time is frequently guilty of se...
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One of the reasons why people go into transactional partnerships is due to family pressure, and even social standing. But the question is, is it possible to turn a transactional partnership into a romantic one?
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There’s an old English adage dating back to the 16th century that says:
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What are long term effects of infidelity?
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We all know that lying isn’t the best thing to do. It’s a universally acknowledged truth. So why do we do it in the first place? Occasional dishonesty is natural. But when does lying become a problem? And what makes lyin...
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Narcissists hunger to have their needs met. If you’re in a close relationship with a narcissist, they expect you to supply them. The term “narcissistic supply” originates in the psychoanalytic theory that concerns the es...
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Codependents are often caretakers, which seems like a great quality except we tend to do it at our own expense and often when help is not wanted or needed. The result is a codependent pattern of rescuing, resenting, and ...
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Everyone experiences their own level of fear of change. That's why comfort zones exist. You're not alone in these feelings surrounding change. In fact, neuroscience has shown that uncertainty feels similar to failure in ...
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I invite you to notice the feeling you have when I say vulnerability is strength! Does it feel like a pit in your stomach? A lump in your throat? Does the idea of being vulnerable scare you? I am asking you to think abou...
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